I went to see Eat, Pray, Love... it made me want to eat pasta and gelato (actually who am I kiddin' I always want to eat gelato) it also made me want to sleep under a canopy in Bali... and meditate again. meditate again... and again.
I have tried numerous times to "start" a regular practice... I am great at the start, I dive in and go for a solid month... then "life happens" and I miss one day, the cat pukes, the delivery man comes... I forget to go the bathroom first... blah blah blah
But today I accepted the fact that my meditation practice is what it is... exactly what I put into it... so I miss the ritual some mornings... c'est la vie... somehow during the day I still catch a moment of "in the moment"... watching birds, listening to rain, watching the trees, hugging my man, petting my cat, seeing a dog I love... I am a spiritual person even if I don't sit crossed legged and breathe every morning... that said... I sure feel better when I do.
The other day I could tell something just was not right with my car... it accelerated on its own... and well needless to say this made breaking very difficult.
Two things about this terrifying driving experience amazed me... first, even though I had my hazard lights on and my car was smoking and jerking, people still honked and swore at me... not one person asked to see if I needed help or if I was okay.
The second thing that amazed me was how for moment I went into panic mode, my heart raced... time made no sense, all I could think was that I did not know what to do... then like Liz in Eat, Pray, Love I heard a voice... "Amy be calm and deal with this... you know what to do!" I am not sure if this voice came from inside or upstairs... or both... but it worked... in a second I was calm, observing, reacting and coping.
After getting myself and my car off the road I realized that it is quite possible that my meditation practice saved my life. Not only would my car not stop it would not stop GOING... kind of a metaphor for my life. yeesh.
Cheesy... floofy, hocus pocus... whatever you want to call it or whatever it may seem like, does not matter to me... maybe it was a coincidence maybe it was not... but my car that would not stop or stop going showed me that you just can't operate like that all the time... its not good for you, or for the ones you love, other people or the rest of the living world.
As Ghandi challenged all of us... I have decided to "Be the change I want to see in the world".
To start I have committed to meditating every day even if it's just for 2min. Maybe then I will really see people who need help and I can ask them if they are okay.
Here are a few things I use when meditating... candle (not petroleum based), meditation beads, sweet grass and a few totems to send and bring in love.
Also here is a link to a guided mindful metta meditation... in case you too want to try it out too :)
Namaste,
Amy
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